I don't mean to neglect y'all, it's just that life here is very grim and busy overall, with the odd splash of ridiculous hilarity thrown in.
I've clocked over sixty hours in four different departments at The Ritz since the new pay period began on Saturday, even with having quit one extraneous department due to chaos and lawlessness as a result of lax management there. A friend of nearly twenty years, someone I would absolutely Be There For Until The End, has let me know that the end is nigh, and seems to be dying rather suddenly of the same thing that killed Dead Friend 1.0, which is also a chronic condition of Hotter's (cue the feelings). And The XY has run amok, voiced his intention to thoroughly violate the custody order by taking a child out of school to go to an elective medical appointment for an issue The XY and I disagree on that is less a matter of anyone's wellbeing and more a cosmetic matter of personal preference, and stated that he will document my interference and relitigate custody if I interfere, which I absolutely plan to do. FUN!
All of that is to say that I hesitated on whether to share the following slice-of-my-life vignette, because hostile attorneys could be reading, but this used to be a funny blog, and funny things still happen, even in 2014, and I have a strong and loving marriage which, as those do, occasionally includes some sex with my spouse, and so here in no particular order are the top ten questions and comments Big Child called through the bedroom door as Hotter and I, overcome by my being both home and awake, attempted to have a quickie this morning:
1. You said to pour Little Child some cereal, but Middly wants some too. What do I do?*
2. There aren't very many mini-wheats left.**
3. We're out of regular milk. There's chocolate milk and almond milk. Which one should I use on my cereal?***
4. I'd kind of like to try the almond milk. Is that okay?
5. In a glass, not on my cereal. Is that still okay?
6. Are the glasses in the dishwasher clean?
7. What about the spoons?
8. What's a briGANd?
9. Is that how it's pronounced? Well, what's a brigand?
10. POPPY IS THROWING UP!
If The XY's attorneys ARE reading this, could you please ask your client to stop canceling his visitation? Because breakfast would go much more smoothly over here on snow days if I could properly fuck my husband for more than ten minutes at a go and while the children are NOT home. Thanks!
* Bless his cotton socks, Big Child is not very self-directing, even at nearly thirteen.
** There were three other varieties of healthy breakfast cereal available, but Big Child is an informer by nature.
*** Something about snow and ice make people crave milk, evidently, because there was no organic milk to be had except the chocolate kind.