Today I hauled my carcass out of bed bright and early (I worked late last night and slept poorly due to nightmares about locking my keys in the MFA Minivan and all of my teeth falling out) to attend this year's MFA Middle School academic awards ceremony, where I was frisked at the door by an armed police officer ('MURRICA!). Today Big Child was only in the top 10% for TWO subjects, not four like last year, and did not manage a perfect score on any of the standardized test subjects or straight As for the entire year (he had one B). I'm thinking I should ground him all summer!* Things continued to go downhill when Big Child and the other Top Five Accelerated Readers in the seventh grade were commended by the announcer for their "literal comprehension" (NOW THE COP MAKES SENSE, AND THIS IS WHY I DO NOT OWN ANY GUNS), but the kid was one of only two students in his grade to be recognized as a "Trailblazer" who fearlessly embraces new ideas, so I guess I won't put him on bread and water just yet.*
The XY did not attend this year's awards ceremony, and has already announced that he will not be taking his next weekend either. Between that and his trying to weasel out of providing transportation for Big Child to get to and from the summer program for the gifted that he got into this year (which he had agreed to do since his job schedule is much more flexible than mine) he's totally blowing his chances at winning Father Of The Year (the schmuck). C'est la guerre!
Big Child's a pretty great kid, and I think I will keep him.
* I am KIDDING, people. I would think that would be fairly obvious, but this is the innernet and you never know. I chalk this year's decline (if you can even call it that given that he's still kicking ass) up to cockiness and the advent of Teh Hormones. And maybe genetics on his father's side.