MFA Mama

yays and boos

*   Hotter and I made up! YAAAAY! He said I made him want to shove a rock up his own butt but he loves me anyway. If you weren't there for the buttrock Twitter conversation, you should probably count yourself lucky, but that line won't make any sense to you. That's okay. It made me laugh instead of cry and there's nobody else I'd rather be discussing butt-rocks with for the rest of my life.

*   My guts are still in an uproar, although nothing like they were on Friday. The same spot in the lower left quadrant is ouchy though, and it's pretty unpleasant. I have been following medical advice and also putting fresh aloe vera gel in my smoothies. I think if I stopped eating solid food altogether I'd feel a lot better. The problem is, I love solid food.

*   Little Child and I made rose-petal jam today. I don't know if it's gelling up okay, but it tastes like beauty. Tomorrow I may buy some heavy whipping cream so we can make rose-petal ice cream with the leftovers. Mmm...

*   My paycheck from Temp Agency #2 is taking the scenic route through cyberspace.

*   My current job is just EVER so nice.

   How are all of YOU? What are your yays and boos?

gluten-free jam-drop cookies

   Sometimes life is just fucking awful, and your only recourse is to cook, bake, can, and pick your feelings into submission. Here is a recipe for amazing gluten-free jam-drop cookies. For maximum smug satisfaction, use jam you made the same day:

Gluten-Free Jam Drop Cookies
makes about 1.5 dozen
preheat oven to 350 Fahrenheit 

1/3 cup each tapioca flour, white rice flour, and almond meal
1 tbsp potato starch
1.25 sticks unsalted butter
1/2 tsp Pink Himalayan Salt 
1/3 cup sugar
paste from a one-inch section of vanilla bean
about 1.5 tbsp jam

Whisk dry ingredients except sugar and salt together and set aside. Beat butter, sugar, vanilla bean paste and salt together until fluffy. Add dry ingredients in three parts and beat together, roll into balls of about 2 tsp each, set balls on a sheet of parchment paper laid over a pizza pan and press thumbprint in to make dimple, fill dimple with jam, Repeat until you run out of dough (or eat it all), bake at 350 for 12-15 minutes depending on your oven. 

   We (Little Child and I) made these today with fresh strawberry jam from the garden, and they tasted like really rich, buttery shortbread with jam. SO good. Tonight there are rose petals macerating in the fridge for rose-petal jam tomorrow, and we agreed that we'll have to make more jam-drops when that is ready.

well, hey, alright

*   After three and a half hours' restless sleep, I greeted a puking tween, a rampant hound, a cranky husband and an empty fridge with steely resolve, poured the contents of the French press into the contents of the strawberry kefir bottle, and shook it, like a boss, all "bring it, Tuesday." on the facespace.

*   I gathered up the coupons and hit Kroger. A family-size bag of organic chicken nuggets, two steamable veggie bags, half a gallon of organic milk, eight yogurts, two Larabars, and a dozen and a half Bumpus-eggs ended up costing me $15. Whoo, savings! As an added bonus, I taught Little Child how to pick from the garden to feed Clementine greens for free.

*   Then I went and put all of the rabbits (that can be safely handled, IDEN) out to graze in their various pens and shelters. And did some work in the garden. And chased a stray rabbit all over creation (I hate Haas almost as much as Iden today).

*   My generous customer came back! He was as he usually is, and other than that work was pretty slow, but it all evened out.

*   All in all today was good, despite a rough start. Maybe tonight I'll get some actual sleep and tomorrow I'll conquer the world! How are all of YOU?

Clementine

Figure One: She is not particularly darling, but we have called her Clementine. I got her from a co-worker, who got her as a baby and had her for nearly three years. He sold me the dragon (Clementine is a Bearded Dragon), tank, and all accessories for less than a teeny baby one of these things would cost by itself at the pet store. Little Child is in slithery little-boy heaven :)

bullets of indignation

*   What the HELL, Google? What happened to "don't be evil?" TAKING GOOGLE READER AWAY IS PRETTY FUCKING EVIL.

*   I hate it when the XY has to pay child support on a Friday. Because he hands the check over AFTER banks are closed, and then I either have to get up super-early on a Saturday to cash and then deposit the check, or not write any checks Thursday or Friday and be okay with waiting until Tuesday or so to buy groceries (not this week). Yes, he could make my life easier by paying in cash or certified funds, but why WOULD he?

*   I have been eating...a lot. No DietBet ongoing plus feelings plus living with a chef plus working with a chef equals FATTY FATTY NECK-ROLL! That all stops now though, because I rolled my DietBet winnings into a new game. You can join us, if you like.

*   Work, drama, rinse, repeat, blahhhh.

*   What is it with boys and...unwholesome...choices in pets? Little Child has been pining for a pet that he can interact with (since Iden the killer-bunny is a carnivorous bitch). His first choice was a Madagascar Hissing Cockroach. NOOOOOOOOOOO DEAR GOD NO NOT JUST NO BUT FUCK YOU AND NEVER GAHHHHH!!! Hotter foolishly pointed out that they are cheap to feed and harmless, and I suggested that he move back in with his mother and take Little Child and any hypothetical hissing cockroach (seriously, who hears "hissing cockroach" and WANTS ONE?) with him, because OBVIOUSLY. JESUS. Unbeknownst to Little Child, Hotter and I will be spending Sunday morning picking up his SECOND choice of vile familiar. I am...not enthused about this creature. Apparently it will fill a terrifyingly-shaped hole in Little Child's boyish heart, however, and it doesn't have six legs, so I will be thankful for small mercies and clear a spot for its' cage in the den. Photos to come!

*   It's beautiful outside, but too wet to garden, still. I think all of the seeds I previously planted drowned in the ground, which may be just as well as I forgot my self-imposed ban on drunk-planting and may not have planned or spaced things correctly, but STILL.

*   I have definitely caught Middle Child's Sickness of Filth, and it is definitely a virus. Because he still sounds every bit as revolting after two days on a strong antibiotic as he ever did, and the symptoms are identical, and the drops haven't helped my eyes a bit either. Booooo, virus. Boo. And I have to work until midnight. FANCY!

*   How are all of YOU?

blah

   Things with Hotter are good. VERY good, actually. We had a nice day of snuggling, make-up sex, coffee together, and a nice family dinner.

   I just wish I believed it'll last.

   See, the entire fight that precipitated the recent discord was due to lack of money. Specifically, I broke down and confessed that I hated how money was making me extra-terrified of something happening to a member of his family (entirely possible given risk factors such as age and heroin addiction), for the simple reason that I couldn't afford to get him to and from The Arctic Tundra.

   Hotter, of course, interpreted that as me disparaging his family, and the opposite of hilarity ensued. He was mean to me, REALLY mean, yelling, cold and cruel in the face of hysterical tears...hell, he even threatened to "take this to the innernet." The reason that there is currently peace is that I agreed to a $200 Special Savings for family disaster.

  Here's the thing though: we get Hotter's disability payment and the first of March's child support tomorrow and after rent, the phone bill, a tank of gas for the car, a new Betta fish for Little Child (the old one died) plus water conditioner to hopefully help this one live longer, a bag of potting soil to start seeds with and a payment toward Hotter's credit card, all that's left is $69. And that has to last for a week of near-daily milk purchases, coffee (because if Hotter is out of coffee EVERYONE SUFFERS), dinners, field trip money, prescriptions...hopefully I'll make cash tips here and there because for a family of five to survive on $69 for a week is...optimistic, at best.

   Meanwhile, I really need some new lenses for my glasses, Hotter still needs dental work, we have to buy a "super" for the bees to fill with honey sooner rather than later, Little Child needs a twin bed, Hotter needs glasses, Little Child needs glasses, we owe on Hotter's credit card...

   So yeah, I don't see that $200 materializing any time soon, and it's still pretty likely that something will happen to either Hotter's mother or son and I won't be able to afford travel. Only instead of just the fury over that, I'll also have the fury of "YOU PROMISED!" to deal with. And then there's the emotional fallout of feeling like love comes at a literal price around here.

   This kind of makes me want to curl up and die. After my first in-law experience with the XY's family I swore that in future relationships I would be like the Pony Express: ORPHANS ONLY! I should have stuck to it, or maybe just gotten a dog instead of remarrying in the first place.

pandaphones

And now, for a change of pace from me being a dick about food and my weight and the world, I give you PANDA HEADPHONES OMG:

Figure One: It started as a desire to cut down on noise pollution from Little Child's iPod here at Casa MFA, and then Hotter and I both keeled over dead from the cute. Here is where I spent the cutest $14 I ever did spend. They also have bunny ones.

what my littles didn't eat tonight

Meatballs

1 lb lean ground beef
1/2 cup chopped rolled oats
2 tbsp potato starch
1 tsp finely chopped parsley
2 tbsp minced onion
1 large clove minced garlic
1 large egg
salt and pepper or Adobo to taste

Mix ingredients thoroughly in a large bowl, form into tbsp-sized balls, lay out on greased sheetpan or Pyrex dish, bake at 400 degrees for fifteen minutes before putting the potatoes in.

Teeny-Tiny Potatoes

1 bag Teeny-Tiny Potatoes, rinsed and patted dry
1 pat butter (about 2 tsp)
1 clove minced garlic
the leaves from about a 2-inch sprig of fresh rosemary, stripped off and minced finely
salt and fresh-ground rainbow peppercorns to taste

Mince the garlic and rosemary together, then cut them both into the butter and rub the bottom of a glass baking dish with the mixture. Rub the rest over the outsides of the potatoes and put them in the oven with the meatballs. Bake both for thirty minutes (the meatballs for a total of forty-five minutes) at 400 degrees.

   When they're done, the outsides of the meatballs will be sizzly and crisp, and when you take the teeny-tiny potatoes out they'll squeak and their skins will wrinkle up. We had both with steamed broccoli.

   Or at least Hotter, Big Child and I did. I don't know why I don't just serve the Littles yogurt, toast, and apple slices to begin with.

let's just call it a fever

   Greetings and salutations!

   Man, I had almost forgotten how amazing two or more consecutive days off while not acutely sick-in-bed can be! I say that as someone who is currently walking-wounded kind of sick, but STILL! Today I:

*   Slept in, because my husband is awesome and gets the boys up and off to school with a hot breakfast (if they will eat it--the littles frequently opt to skip what is on offer at home and have breakfast at school and as long as they eat SOMEthing I don't get terribly exercised about it).

*   Got up, piled into the car with my husband and flatulent dog, and got lost several different times in the wilds of County Over The Line, where we inevitably end up going to purchase meat in bulk. Purchased beef in bulk from a very cool farmer. Got lost once more for good measure on the way home. WHEE! Getting lost in rural areas takes Hotter and me back to our dating days :)

*   Made a delicious chicken stir-fry dinner that everybody ate featuring roasted greens from the winter garden (okay sure, Little Child didn't like it and only ate the three-bite minimum to not be In Trouble, but that beats the nights when he takes one lick and gags histrionically then bursts into tears--bad as that sounds he has gone from "can't eat at all, pukes all things" to "merely a turd, haha"--and he ate all his rice and most of his veg). When everyone eats something that I make, even Hotter with his GI issues and the littles with their food aversions, I always feel like I've won something! Sure, only Hotter and Big Child appreciated the individual lemon custard cups I made for dessert, but they were so very taken with them that it made up for the littles' lackluster reactions (Big Child in particular was all "OMG YOU MADE THAT WHOLE THING BY YOURSELF FROM SCRATCH? WOW I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE SO TALENTED!" and is just ever so gratifying to cook and bake for), and ate their own custards and those the littles scorned with gusto.

*   Fed the center stalks from the dinner greens to the beasts of Squatter Workshop, and finely chopped some for Isis's dinner.

*   Bonded with Little Child over our shared love for iThings (I lost The Precious today and was half-convinced it was in County Over The Line but was able to page it via Find My iPhone from Little Child's iPod Touch, because they're both registered to my Apple ID and technology is fucking amazing), showed him how to work the various features, and watched him figure out the interface even faster than I did (and proceed to learn how to do things I hadn't yet mastered my own damn self, because kids are amazing like that, the damn whippersnappers).

*   Took Middle Child on a pharmacy run to get a prescription and spend some CVS Extra bucks. We got Hotter a fleece throw since he is always cold, and Middly remembered that it's his teacher's birthday and selected a heart-shaped box of chocolates for her. We talked about how Little Child is picky and we therefore do not discuss ingredients at the table, how awful Isis's breath is (we got some chews for her that are supposed to help with that), how Big Child is a lunatic for Minecraft, and things we might want to make for dinner in the near future now that Middly has hit the "hollow legs" portion of boyhood.

*   Walked dogs with Big Child, and discussed Bumpus's progress in training (he is slowly becoming a civilized canine citizen of Casa MFA, rather than a Fraggle/Alien demon-thing), Minecraft, music, and literature.

*   Made myself buffalo wings from the wings of the whole chicken I cut apart for Isis's meals this week (Bumpus is now on high-dollar kibble once more in an attempt to make him look less like a walking coatrack with fur; he's not a delicate speshul snowflake like Isis is and can have grains so we're trying that route again--Isis now eats one entire chicken, giblets included, over the course of a week minus the breasts and wings, which become peoplefood). They were ridiculously good.

*   Made turkey stock from the frozen carcass of our Thanksgiving bird, picked the meat, and refrigerated the broth preparatory to skimming off the fat--turkey-noodle soup tomorrow, aww yeah!

*   Took a hot bath.

*   Baked some ugly drop-biscuits so that everyone will have something they enjoy for breakfast tomorrow morning (the littles see it as a terrible hardship when Big Child has bacon and/or eggs, because they don't like those things and end up "starving all the way to school," and everyone likes biscuits with various permutations of jam/honey/butter/fried egg on them or else plain in the case of Little Child).

   I feel like utter shite and think I may be abed all day tomorrow; whatever is wrong with me my lungs are sucking and given all of the eating I did today I'm declaring it a well-fed fever at this point.

   In other words "didn't even have to use my AK, guess it was a good day!"

   How are all of YOU?

beeeeef (and some random thoughts)

   After tonight, I have two days off IN A ROW. I know!!!

   Tomorrow, after the boys are off to school, Hotter and Isis and I plan to drive out into the wilds of a nearby county and pick up twenty-one pounds of grass-fed, sustainably-raised beef. We're getting a "family sampler"-type box with some ground meat, steaks, roasts, etc., plus a few pounds each of tongue and soup bones. Yes, I said tongue. I keep hearing about tacos de lengua and how amazing they are, plus it's the cheapest cut of meat on a cow. Which I guess is probably because of the squick-factor (you have to PEEL OFF THE TASTEBUDS...OMG barf), and honestly it's kind of a toss-up whether this'll be just gross enough to make a really good story (and am amazing dinner!) or so gross that I give up and give the things to the dogs. Either way I'm sure y'all will hear about it!

   Other than that I'm still sickly but slept most of yesterday after getting home from working an early shift, then all last night and into this afternoon. I'm hoping that with enough rest and fluids I can kick this stupid cold and not have it turn into another bronchitis-sinus-ear-lungapalooza, because ENOUGH, UNIVERSE, EEEEEENOUGH WITH THE LUNGS ALREADY! I found a not-quite-dead Symbicort inhaler in a drawer and have been using that twice a day to try and keep the lung-boogers at bay while I get over the virus, and so far so good.

   I only just realized that this is '13, and thirteen has always been my lucky number. So maybe this will be my year?

   Today is Day Two of NO PREDNISONE. Whoo!

   Five more days until I get my new front tooth.

   I really wish I had the money to get the next tattoo I have planned, but it's going to have to wait until things at Jobs #1 and #2 pick back up, and I need to get Little Child a twin mattress set next time I have "spare money" (yes, he still sleeps on a toddler-size bed, and no, he's not quite too big for it, but he IS finally growing and it's getting ridiculous--I can't have the kid start second grade sleeping in that thing!). Someday.

   How are all of YOU?