Sitemeter tells me you're reading, so I thought I'd go ahead and say hello.
"Sam" is very good at exploiting the goodwill of others, and has that enticing sparkle of a disordered personality, so I don't blame you for your role in this, but I do offer up for your consideration the other side of the story.
Sam and I used to be friends. Then she no longer found me convenient to her machinations and friend-dumped me, and I had nothing bad to say about her. I mean, it hurt my feelings, but life goes on.
The enmity didn't come until she chose to participate in a Sekret Innernet Klub devoted to bringing me down, run by my longtime innernet stalker. And then I did lash out, yes. Because these people were threatening me with terrible things, the very worst things, and at the time there was enough going wrong in my life that I was afraid of everything.
Because of Sam's actions I had to stop blogging for a while, and cut myself off from my entire online support system during the worst of my divorce and custody woes. I didn't know who I could trust, and it was largely her doing. That was really fucked up of her, and if I was genuinely as insane and unstable as she was alleging at the time, then continuing to push me toward the edge while I was in charge of the wellbeing of small children was a deeply fucked-up action on her part. Kind of goes against the whole crunchy earth-mother persona she has embraced in recent years, doesn't it? I know y'all are in her thrall and mad because she's perseverating about me, which is why you're even reading this, but think about that: if she was right in her claims about me, and I was this dangerous, horrible, insane person, what kind of person does it make HER that she kept poking me with a stick?
At the end of the day, I like to think that I am better than her (in fact, I know I am), but apparently my post yesterday has stirred her up, and I keep thinking of her children. See, as hard as Sam tried, I never did lose my shit and become an unfit parent, but I'm not so sure she's capable of holding up as well. She's tough, and clings awfully hard to this morally-upright do-gooder image that she cultivates and hides behind, so I hope that those children will somehow be shielded from the worst of the ugliness within their mother, but as the child of a mentally-ill mother I know what could happen if they are not, and I do not want that on my conscience. So here you go, on my birthday, I am giving YOU a gift: the title of yesterday's post was a reference to the fact that I am immersing myself in the reading of fiction in lieu of overmuch contemplation of things going on in my own life right now, and no more.
The only reason I even bother looking in on Sam every once in a while (and it really isn't even that often--this shit hit the fan before the Winter Retail Holiday and I just now noticed it a couple of days ago) is that I have grown accustomed to doing so out of self-defense, after years of her bedeviling me. Do I take pleasure in the fact that she is now going through pretty much exactly what I was when she stabbed me in the back? Absolutely! I think it's karma at it's very best, we are talking about someone who caused me a LOT of suffering, and I'm human. If she wasn't a fucking sociopath I'd say maybe it'll teach her something about empathy, but Sam being Sam it'll probably just bring in new victims and reinforce her martyrdom. Either way I have no intentions of intervening, because I have my own problems and my own life and simply do not give that much of a fuck about your friend Sam anymore. So I am committing to the following, because this crazy bitch has occupied more than enough of my mental real estate already: I will not discuss it on my blog. I will not discuss it on Twitter. I will not discuss it in any public arena, and I will not debate it with any of you. If her soon-to-be-ex comes to me looking for assistance in fighting Sam for custody, I will laugh in his face, because I have never observed either of them parenting the children whose custody will be at stake in this, an eight-year-old character reference probably isn't worth squat in court anyway, neither of them have covered themselves in glory in this exchange thus far, and unlike Sam I don't see "I don't like her" as a good enough reason to try to deprive someone of access to their children via long-distance meddling.
I have "found the time" to take it all in because I've gotten into the habit of keeping an eye on Sam out of self-defense, but I am not wasting any more of my energy on this. I had my laugh and I'm done. But hey, go ahead and talk about me on Twitter. Sam is good at the Mean Girl Game, and y'all seem to have that in common with her, so it's no loss to me that y'all and I will never be friends. In the end, if that game is the only one she can win in life, she's welcome to it. I'm not playing. And when she turns on you (as she probably will at some point, because it's what her kind do), don't come crying to me looking to commiserate, because bonding over mutual hatred doesn't make actual friends, as I think Sam has probably learned.
This is me, backing away slowly. I suggest you do the same.