I learned the following just now by eavesdropping on Hotter talking to The Wrath on the phone. All of the following may or may not be true and accurate, but this is what it sounds like is going on in the Arctic Tundra currently:
* Loud and Crazy got his arse kicked by a billygoat, and may now have a hernia as a result. Either way he is laid low, and Hotter opined that a strategically-placed icepack would cause things to retract back into place just fine but nobody wants to listen to him.
* Lefty is back in rehab, and when he gets out this time he's moving in with a gay couple. The Wrath is concerned about this, but at least The Gays eat well (???).
* My ex-wife in-law is now practicing Reiki. Or else maybe she's taken up Scientology? Possibly both. Also, she may be/may have been fucking Loud and Crazy, although I imagine the hernia put a stop to all of THAT nonsense!
And this is why I like for there to be at least three states between me and the in-laws.