* Hotter hasn't heard anything about the job. He refuses to apply anywhere else until he does, because obviously one can only apply for one job at a time.
* I am still expressing my bitterness over life's most recent developments in the form of sarcasm.
* After spending the past several days working as much as possible, I think I have hit the point where Eclecstasy won't let me work any more hours until the next pay period starts, and consequently I have three days off in a row, which makes me deeply unhappy. When I tweaked my schedule so as to make this happen last week and this week, things were fine and I was thinking it would be nice to spend some quality time with Hotter. Last week I picked up shifts on two of the three days and spent the third painting and otherwise improving the bathroom. This week I plan to tackle the main room of the house, and have acquired Lowe's gift cards accordingly. Unfortunately, since Hotter hasn't found a job, we'll be spending quantity time together while I paint.
* The little mom and pop restaurant up the street from us is hiring part-time waitstaff. I might go by there tomorrow before I get all painted up and see if there's a hiring manager about; if it kills my soul to be at home I might as well be making money, and at this rate Hotter won't be gainfully employed before 2016, if ever.
* Speaking of Hotter, he wants to talk (SO much has happened at work, and usually he is who I talk to about it, but now I can't, and I certainly can't tell y'all) and cuddle (no, just NO) and generally pretend everything is fine, except it is not. Nothing is fine. I think he may have irreparably damaged both me (emotionally) and our relationship, and every goddamn time he pulls this crap it takes longer and longer for me to get back to a place of liking him again. I don't think I'll ever trust him to be kind when things are stressful again, which begs the question of why we are still married if he can't hold up his end of things when I'm the one "in sickness" and things are less better and more worse. I seem to have a hideous gift of identifying and marrying men who seem okay until something goes wrong and then proceed to kick me while I'm down, although at least in Hotter's case the kicking is only figurative? I don't know, I'm trying to find the bright side and not having a lot of luck.
* To convince me that he's not using me as a meal ticket, Hotter has been telling me all about how much better life was when he lived with his mother, and didn't have to help out around the house, and had more money from his disability check (because he was essentially leeching off his mom), and all in all the only thing he's convincing me of is that he secretly regrets marrying me and will never see the problem in his relying on a woman to provide for him as a grown-ass adult. According to him, his still being here proves that he loves me, but love isn't very sweet when it's wrapped up in that much bitterness now is it? Part of me wants to ship him back to his mother's house, where he no longer has a room and certainly wouldn't get the best one back from his brother, and where they can't afford heating oil to keep the house at the tropical greenhouse temperature he prefers, and nobody cooks most of the time or is available to drive him to his appointments, and see how he fucking likes that, especially since I don't think it would be practical for him to take Poppy and/or The Tick with him. About the only reason I haven't done just that is that I'll be goddamned if I'm going to spend the money on a ticket for him when I'd have other expenses, like childcare.
* The way I'm feeling lately has me considering going back to my psychiatrist to see if there is anything he can do for me, but I don't think there's a pill for heartbreak. I would dearly love to talk to Dr. Cuervo about my feelings right now, but Hotter disapproves strongly of that and I don't fancy being yelled at while hung over for spending money on something that doesn't benefit the rest of the household.
* I don't fucking know what to do with my life, or what color I want to paint the main room of the house. I guess I'll go to Lowe's tomorrow and try to figure that out (the latter).