* Today I started my day off like a winner by dry-swallowing an Aleve on the way to work and getting it stuck in my throat. That sucked. Then, because I'm a genius, I did the same thing on the way HOME from work.
* The account is overdrawn, and it is ALL my fault. I guess it's nice that it's not poverty-related this time but rather idiocy-related, but overdrafts suck either way. At least Hotter was nice about it (depending on various factors he'll either be really cool about me screwing up or make me feel like the world's biggest fucking idiot).
* Home waxing kits. Let's talk about those for a minute! Since I was so pleased with my first experience with wax as a hair-removal method, I decided to try a home kit, thinking that maybe I could save myself some money in the future given that I think I'll be waxing my ladygarden for the forseeable future (MUCH less chafing during cardio than with shaving, and no blades involved--WIN!). Here I demonstrated at least SOME intelligence in that I elected to test the stuff on my legs and underarms rather than The Center Of The Universe. What I failed to take into account is that a) I have abnormally elastic skin due to connective tissue disease, b) I have abnormally thin blood because bleeding disorder + NSAIDs due to Paul and my back, and c) to prevent bruising, you need to hold skin taut prior to yanking off wax, and if you already have one arm in the air because you're waxing under it, that only leaves you one hand with which to remove the wax. I don't think I'll stop letting a professional wax Ms. Virginia any time soon!
Figure One: But at least my armpits are smoother than a baby's behind! Speaking of my brightest moments, who remembers the tree incident of 2010? Left a helluva scar. Good thing I'm not an armpit model!
* A guest at work smelled so fantastic that I was moved to ask her what she was wearing. She replied with something frenchy-sounding that my brain wants to turn into "Joe Malone." Does anyone know what floral, vaguely lilies-of-the-valley-smelling women's perfume might sound like "Joe Malone?" I would very much like to buy a bottle of it if it's not outrageously expensive, and I hate that I felt so awkward about asking that I didn't get clarification, but apparently I am made of fail lately.
* How are all of YOU?