Dear family of The Narcissist:
This certainly is awkward. I don't guess I get to be upset that you're reading, given that anyone with an innernet connection can read what I write here, AND YET.
Here is the deal. I think y'all are probably fundamentally decent people in your hearts of hearts, and that you mean well. I like to think that you just didn't KNOW what I lived with as a child, and that's why you never tried to save me from your sister. As an adult I can sort of see why you didn't. You had your own families and problems and lives, and I, due to lack of parenting, was an off-putting child. I forgive you. It's not an "I want to get together next Thanksgiving" kind of forgiveness, but rather an "I don't actively hate your guts and am at peace" kind of forgiveness. We have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN COMMON. That's okay. I like me the way I am, and y'all always seemed pretty content with your way of living, and since there's really no common ground there's no reason for us to have anything to do with each other.
The comment I received earlier this evening made me physically ill. The idea that The Narcissist (as I call your sister, because she does not deserve to be called a mother, much less mine) might also have been reading here made me seriously regret every word I have written on here about my children. They are good, sweet, pure-hearted kids, and the idea of that kind of evil even reading the sanitized-for-the-innernet anecdotes I share about them here is repugnant to me. I have gone to great lengths to protect my boys from everything your sister is, and make sure their childhood is nothing like mine. They've never seen their mother get high, or helped her cover up an extra-marital affair. I've never hit them, or gotten so drunk that I hit ON them and/or encouraged my friends to do so. The first and only time they ever heard the M-Fbomb from an adult was the first and LAST time I let The Narcissist anywhere near them, and they still talk about how scary it was when she suffered a psychotic break and tried to drive us all off a bridge when I was recovering from my hysterectomy.
I appreciate your thinking I would want to know about your sister's current condition (whatever that may actually be--I would urge you to take anything she tells you with a VERY LARGE grain of salt as manufactured medical emergencies are a favorite attention-getting tactic of hers). You were incorrect, but I can understand why you might think I would want to know. Here is where I ask, though, that if you genuinely do care about me in any capacity, however abstract, you NOT DO THAT. This blog and its' readers are my happy place, the extended family that I don't have "in real life," and its' comments section is not the place to tell me your sister is "very, VERY sick." You said you didn't know how else to reach me, and there is a reason for that. Even if we DID have anything at all in common, and I thought there was any way to salvage a mutually-enjoyable relationship of any kind based on blood or nostalgia, I wouldn't be interested. Because I won't knowingly do anything that would potentially lead to your sister having any insight into my family life, and I'd really prefer that she not be able to pick my boys out of a lineup. I'd cut off a limb to protect those kids. Cutting off an extended biological family of people who don't even like me was an easy choice. So thanks for thinking of me, but mental illness killed my mother thirty years ago, and I've already had all the feelings I'm going to have over it. I wish you well (from a distance). Sincerely, me
* That title is not entirely accurate, as technically Only Living Relative (as I call him on here) shares my DNA and lives outside my house by a hemisphere or so. He's doing well, in case you were wondering. He may not have been good enough for The Narcissist in your eyes, but every single time we talk, even when he is nowhere near lucid and thinks I work for Condoleeza Rice at Coca-Cola Corp., he tells me that he loves me and is proud of me. Y'all could all learn a lot from that guy, even on his addled days.