So I was vague on here, but those of you who follow me on the Twitter know more and those of you who know me on the facespace know almost all and those of you I have drunkdialed from Squatter Workshop know all and THEN SOME, but the day after Hotter's seizure he was a major dick to me and the day after that I asked him for a divorce. Then I cried for two days straight and we came to a compromise and had kinky make-up sex.
I fucking hate the month of March.
I don't know what it is about it, but every March since like, 2005 has sucked for me and this one is no exception. In sorting through All The Things over the past week I read back and saw that the LAST time Hotter had a seizure that lead to my facespace-divorcing him was March (of 2010). This recent one was the first grand mal he's had since we've been a couple, and I was utterly unprepared for the huge shift in personality the random internal electrocution brought about. In retrospect I should have considered that as soon as he behaved abberantly, but when someone has reopened decades-old emotional wounds and rubbed salt in them, logic tends to faint at the sight of blood and it's downhill from there.
We've talked through everything that had been bothering us about each other prior to the seizure. I am following certain guidelines in regards to money (as we'd pretty much already agreed), and knowing what we now know about what post-ictal personality changes, Hotter has agreed to be more judicious in his sleep habits (the seizure was his fault--I am not cold-hearted enough to say that it's Hotter's fault he had a stroke and was left prone to seizures, but that being His Lot In Life he needs to not stay up all night gaming or drink four pots of coffee in a day, both of which he did more than once in the days leading up to his recent event, and that's not just my personal uneducated conjecture, it's also what the neurologist said so yeah). I feel a little squeamy about even getting mad at him over something that is No Fun for him (Hotter's seizure aura includes nerve pain and since he usually stops breathing after a seizure they're also scary as hell for him), but I think six or seven years in a row of no grand mal activity had made him cocky, and since it affects everyone in the house when these things happen it's not as simple as "well go ahead and give yourself a seizure, ya dumbass, and see how that works out for you."
Brains are such assholes. If they were simple enough for us to understand, we'd be too simple to understand them, but why they gotta be so COMPLICATED?
As for me, and How I'm Doing, I voluntarily went to work yesterday on my day off, because our car insurance premium is due next month and will eat an entire paycheck, and I don't have another day off for at least a week, so that...is what it is. Fortunately I genuinely enjoy my job and most of the people I work with, so it could be a lot worse. I decided against getting The Jew Tattoo fixed during all of this, because a) I'd like to have at least two days off in a row during the early days of the healing process when I get it re-inked, b) knowing what I know about my body and bleeding tendencies and shitty healing abilities, I like to prepare myself for voluntary woundings by making sure I spend at least a week straight loading up on leafy greens and avoiding NSAIDs and alcohol, and haven't done either of those as of right now, and c) it's March, and therefore despite any sensible precautions it would probably get infected and my fucking arm would fall off. Aaaand last night I got glutenated somehow, probably at work, which means that tomorrow's DietBet weigh-in will be a cliffhanger. I've lost more than my goal amount for the purpose of "bet," and therefore am not over the target number CURRENTLY, but I've only gotten glutenated a couple of times since going hardcore GF and therefore don't know enough about how the reaction will play out to feel 100% confident. Boooo.
How are all of YOU?