Last night I walked around a corner at work and a co-worker was covertly texting on his phone. "Better watch out," I said, "if The Evil One sees you s/he'll kill you."
"I don't fear death," replied my co-worker, waggling his eyebrows.
"Death be not proud?" I asked him, and without missing a beat he jumped in with "for though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, I LAUGH IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, BIATCH!"
And then we high-fived.
There sure are a lot of English majors in the service industry.