oh mah gawd my feet

*   Thank you to those who have donated to the transportation fund. I've e-mailed everyone, but it bears saying again: thank you not only for the helping hand, but also for reminding me that just because I lack family with the means to help (and family period--Only Living Relative is half a world away and doesn't always know who I am when we talk) doesn't mean that Hotter, the boys and I are alone against the world. Because a lot of the time it feels that way, and as the breadwinner I feel guilty when my best isn't enough to keep all of the metaphorical plates spinning on top of the twirly sticks, in addition to worried as hell. I didn't see any way around this transportation crisis being the end of my full-time job with the wonderful benefits, and the part-time job that does not suck, and the third-wheel occasional job working for someone I like very much, and everything that those jobs enable me to do for my family. I hated asking y'all for help. I feel like I shouldn't NEED any help. But I do and it means the world to my little family what y'all are doing, and to me that the willingness is there. 

*   I walked over ten miles today (home to bus stop, bus stop to work, work to bus stop, bus stop to home). My feet are KILLING ME. But I'm pretty proud of myself for toughing it out! Honestly, this sounds cheesy as hell, but when I woke up already sore and didn't want to get out of bed and get dressed and start walking, I told the whiney part of myself that wanted very much to call in sick to suck it up, buttercup, because people believe in my drive to put money they've donated to use to GET THE FUCK TO WORK. When I got off the bus toward home and still had to walk another four miles and change, and my feet hurt, and my knees hurt, and I was tired because I'd already walked six miles and worked (and today at work we were MOVING FURNITURE because OF COURSE WE WERE), and I wanted very much to call a damn cab, I told myself "no way are you doing that. People trust you to be judicious with the money they've given toward your solving this problem and you need to make every dime COUNT so get to walking." Yes, sometimes I kind of give myself pep-talks. Don't you?

*   For some reason, I saved a little garter snake from slithering into traffic on the way home today. I guess it was only fair, since I was walking beside a busy street where there are usually not pedestrians and startled it (I think maybe it was hanging out on the asphalt of the pedestrian lane because the asphalt heated up in the sun?). I was dog-tired and on my way home, and had to wait for a break in the traffic to go and chase the wee snake out of harm's way, and I kind of wonder why I even bothered, except that I like non-venomous snakes and there's not enough mercy in the world.

*   A customer who is one of my very least-favorite people to work with today was, well, someone I worked with today. They're elderly, and overly chatty, and very particular, and they have the habit of using workers' names TO DEATH. I don't know why it annoys me so much when someone begins or ends EVERY DAGGONE SENTENCE with my name, but I don't know, I'm an asshole or something. Anyway, I was attempting to get a big job done as quickly as humanly possible so that I could leave in time to catch the last bus toward home, which my boss had said I could IF I got everything done, and this customer was pretty much standing around watching me work and chattering at me. "You sure are working hard, MFA Mama" they observed, "do you get to go home when you're done?" Yes, I said, I did. "I didn't see you until __ o'clock, and usually if you-all come in then you stay longer. Are you going home early?" I said yes, a little, but I had a bus to catch. "Well you be careful when you get off the bus, MFA Mama, because (neighborhood I work in) is dangerous at night." I said I was catching the bus to MFA County, so no worries (MFA County is fairly tranquil, especially compared to Downtown MFAville). "Oh my! There's only one bus that even GOES out there, and it's a big county. I didn't think the end of the bus line was even IN a residential area!" I said it wasn't, that I was a few miles away in (neighborhood where I live). The customer's eyes widened. "You walk from (neighborhood where I live) to (location of the bus stop) in the morning, come to work, work like this, and then you still have to catch a bus and walk HOME?" I said it wasn't THAT bad, that I'd only had to do it a couple of times since I'd had some car trouble and hopefully wouldn't need to after today, because tomorrow I was buying a new-to-me vehicle. "They couldn't fix your old one?" No, she was old and tired, I said, and I should've let her die sooner really but had hoped she'd last a little longer. "Oh, MFA Mama, I just hate cars. They're so expensive." I laughed and said didn't I know it, and listened to some anecdotes from the customer's personal experience with car troubles as I finished my task. I was really glad when they got ready to leave, and wished them a good day and turned to move another piece of furniture. "MFA Mama! Wait!" I forced myself to look not-impatient and turned back. "I know they already pay you, but you always just do such a WONDERFUL job. Here." And they gave me a dollar. And then I felt like a HUGE asshole, because for all that that particular customer runs everyone to death and gets on my nerves they seem to have a kind heart (and are old enough that tipping a service-person a buck is probably a big deal in their mind). Probably a lot of annoying people do, they just aren't very good at expressing it, and I need remember that and not think badly of them.

*   What's that you say? New-to-me vehicle tomorrow? Yes! I don't have all of the money together, but when I told him that MFA Mechanic said that since he's known me for so long and I've had such shitty automotive luck he'd be willing to let me make payments, so I am taking possession of a working vehicle TOMORROW! I'll be able to drive it to work tomorrow night! It's old, and wasn't fancy even when it was new, and has a lot of miles on it, and some cosmetic issues, but it runs and therefore I will love it and hug it and squeeze it and get its oil changed every three thousand miles and call it...whatever Becca The Commenter decides it ought to be named, since I said she could christen the thing. Becca, I will e-mail you the details of color and whatnot so that you can decide what to name the thing.

*   I am going to go and soak in the bath until I either hurt less or run out of hot water. How are all of YOU?

Comments

[JaneB]

Yay for new-to-you new cars and getting credit!

[Bionic baby mama]

God bless your poor feet, and GOD BLESS YOUR MECHANIC. Good man.

[K]

YAY FOR NEW TO YOU CAR! Oh, I'm just so relieved.