I keep getting these "are you alive" and "how about NOW?" texts, e-mails, facespace messages, and tweets, so I thought I'd pop in and wave feebly even though I don't have anything particularly amusing to say. After sleeping for something like eighteen hours (with breaks for pills and nebulizer treatments), I went to work again today, and it was another day of barely making it through. Tomorrow I am off, and I plan to rest as much as possible, drink tons of Gatorade, and run a couple of rows of kale through the blender (c'mooooon, Vitamin K!).
As to What Ails Me, I dunno. I've been talking it over with some of my medical-type peeps on the facespace and the general consensus is that I need to see a hematologist and an endocrinologist ASAP. I don't need referrals and already have an endocrinologist who I like very much, so I may just skip my PCP altogether (especially as I don't have a ton of faith in her medical skills--usually I know what is wrong with me and she is great because she'll prescribe pretty much whatever I ask for, but when I DON'T already know her diagnostic skills don't EVEN seem to be as good as mine are, which is problematic given that my advanced degree is in Fine Arts), but as I recall from when my kids all had hematology work-ups it's a department that wants to have you served on a silver platter with prior labs from another MDeity.
If any of you feel like playing armchair MD, symptoms include godawful (possibly chronic) bronchitis, asthma exacerbation with impressive wheezing but clear chest x-rays, low BP (as in, I just took it while lying down with my feet up and it's 108/48), high HR, no fever, and an almost total inability to maintain enough potassium in my bloodstream to not be a cardiac hazard despite copious dietary intake* and oral supplementation. Also dizziness, balance issues, outrageous bruising, low hemoglobin (and remember: I do not have a Lady Cycle to contend with and eat tons of leafy greens, so I should not be even a little bit anemic), and now my hair is thinning drastically. I'm also doing that dark-red adrenal-failure scarring thing. It's super-sexy.
The thing is, I have had all of these exact same symptoms before, a few times in my life. I've pursued them with various specialists, and heard various theories from "bitch is crazy" to "sero-negative autoimmune disease" to "your marriage is killing you." Last time, divorcing the XY turned me right around. Oddly, the diagnosis that made the most sense to me came from my therapist of many years, who said "I think you are just so afraid of negative emotion that when your life goes sideways on you you self-destruct physically rather than ruffle anyone's feathers." Whether that's actually possible or total woo, I do not know, although stress certainly triggers Things Autoimmune so maybe it's as good as guess as any.
Since this has always reversed itself with, without, due to, or despite various attempts at treatment in the past, I am clinging to the firm belief that that is what will happen again this time, and this too shall pass. Slow and painful, with a ton of medical bills, like a kidney stone, but...this too shall pass.
How are all of YOU?
* When I told the last ER nurse that I was quite sure I ate plenty of potassium-rich foods, she said "well it can be tricky, maybe you should talk to a dietician to make sure" and I was all "no, I am married to a renal patient and eat all of the things he is supposed to avoid like potatoes, tomatoes, legumes, nuts, dried apricots--" and she was like "oh okay, then there is just something really wrong with you." I felt...validated?
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