literally

   I considered putting this on my earlier "gripes" post, but then decided it deserved its own post all to itself, and since I can't sleep, here goes:

   PEOPLE OF EARTH, PLEASE STOP MISUSING THE WORD "LITERALLY."

   This is what literal literally means. I realize that if you look up "literally," the second sense allows for a virtual usage for purposes of effect, but if your metaphor is worth a shit you don't need the word. Here are some examples:

"I literally laughed my ass off!" No, no you did not. At least, you PROBABLY didn't. If you LITERALLY laughed so hard that both buttocks detached from your body, you probably need the ER.

"It literally sucked the life right out of me!" Nope, not unless you are complaining from beyond the grave.

"That was literally the most hysterical thing I have ever seen." Hysteria isn't funny, kids, and it happens to people, not things. Probably you meant hilarious. And if you meant to say that something was, bar none, the most HILARIOUS thing you've ever seen then you've already made your point by saying "the most." Don't (figuratively) beat a dead horse (and if you're literally beating a dead horse, then cut THAT out too, because it's nasty).

Comments

[Katie]

Also, you don't do things unconsciously...
If you are unconscious, you're flat out on the ground and incapable of doing anything. You might be doing something subconsciously however.

[May]

I literally laughed so hard my lap-top nearly fell off my lap. Figuratively, I ROFL. I can't REALLY ROFL because there's a pile of books on said floor also an unfortunate amount of unsorted clean laundry, but, yeah. I meant well.

[AAL]

Yes. Drives. Me. Crazy.

[Jessicadennis]

Also, this: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/literally

[K]

May's comment made me laugh hard. Literally.

[Tara]

My mom uses the non-word "irregardless" in almost every conversation. I have told her it is a double negative and, thus, means the opposite of that for which she's going, but she still misuses it daily. So annoying.

[winecat]

Thank you!