I finally dragged my arse back to work today, despite an aching back and still feeling like utter dookie from this bronchitis-y largynitis-y Cold of Filth (tm May)...but had to leave before lunch because I am cursed by life, as evidenced by a) Pfeffer the very-pregnant rabbit disappearing on Hotter and b) the HEALTH DEPARTMENT sending us a notice that they'd received a complaint about our not using a proper outdoor trash receptacle and threatening to charge us with a class III misdemeanor. SERIOUSLY, CRAZY TRASHCAN NEIGHBOR??? So I had to come home, assess the situation, bust up the floor of an old shed in order to reach and extract the (very angry, vicious, HOLY HAND-GRENADEWORTHY) rabbit hiding underneath, make a garbage run, and mow the lawn for good measure. And sometime in the course of all of that, a mosquito bit the HELL out of me. Remember how I said I'm allergic to mosquito bites and prefer beestings? This is why:
Figure One: Hand shown for scale. And yes, I just put my stretchmarks on the innernet. It's not so much that I have no shame (although I pretty much don't) as that I have a connective tissue disease, and therefore I have these from my neck to my ankles. So I'm kind of over them.
Figure Two: In this one you can see how it's starting to swell.
So yeah, I hate everygoddamnthing right now. But especially Crazy Trashcan Neighbor. I think next payday I WILL go and buy a trashcan JUST LIKE HERS, but I will have to mark it with spraypaint so that we can tell them apart.
Mine will be the one that says "SCREW YOU" in foot-high neon letters.
No, no, make it tie-dye or psydelic flowers or something.
Posted by: Bonnie | May 11, 2012 at 12:32 AM
My mozzie bites do that! HUGE waves of sympathy coming your way, it's so paonful...
Posted by: JaneB | May 11, 2012 at 11:04 AM
I'm allergic to them, too! Which is why I hide in this rainy, upper-left state. We have them...but not a lot. We don't even own spray. (That means when I go out today I will no doubt be bitten 50 times.)
Your neighbor. My goodness.
Posted by: Attorney At Large | May 13, 2012 at 02:25 PM
I would go for something like, "Happy, bitch?" or "Bite me."
Posted by: ChaosRu | May 13, 2012 at 02:42 PM
Paint a large upraised middle finger on the trash can?
Posted by: Bonnie | May 13, 2012 at 08:15 PM
Ow, those are nasty bites!
Posted by: winecat | May 16, 2012 at 09:05 PM