* Seventeen-hour day today.
* New Weekend Warrior Job? Is going bust like Old Weekend Warrior Job did. Eff me in the a. This almost makes me feel like I should quit Fairy Sweatshop Job, just because I really like Fairy Sweatshop Boss and want her business to remain solvent, and apparently I am a curse.
* AND I got paid today, by New Weekend Warrior Job, and you'll never guess what they did. OH YES, THEY FUCKED UP MY PAYCHECK, BECAUSE IT IS NOT ONLY MARDI GRAS WEEK, IT IS "FUCK WITH MFA MAMA'S MONEY WEEK!"
* And then I got a(nother) ticket on the way home at a traffic stop/sobriety check, for the expired registration I haven't had the time or money to take care of, which really completed me.
* I have to be up in less than five hours for work, so I'll go to bed, but I don't mind telling you I am scared of what tomorrow will bring. Yesterday took 20% of my weekly paycheck. Today shorted me eight hours and let me know I'm getting laid off from my secondary job soon (plus gave me a ticket). What is tomorrow going to do, come to my house and kick my dog? Sheeeeyit.
* How are all of you doing? Tell me a funny. I could really use a laugh.
Three Holy Men and a Bear
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan .
They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both
legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.
So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ....circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
Posted by: Becca | February 24, 2012 at 12:22 AM
Um, let's see... My dog ripped an aluminum downspout off of the back of my house and ran off with it. By the time we caught her, it was toast. We took it away from her, so she attacked 4 peat pots and then a broom. Not sure what was up her butt today.
BTW, it is raining/snowing and likely to all thaw soon, so water leaving the immediate area of the basement would be nice. :)
Posted by: ChaosRu | February 24, 2012 at 12:27 AM
Never, ever ask what could go wrong next. NEVER.
And yes, please don't f*ck with Fairy Sweatshop. Please :)
Posted by: Katie | February 24, 2012 at 06:12 AM
Can't really beat the bears but...um, (*pressure!*)...
it's Friday! (?)
Posted by: krlr | February 24, 2012 at 09:18 AM
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrrrrr!!
*ba dum bum cha!*
Posted by: Kali | February 24, 2012 at 12:05 PM
What's the difference between anal sex and Clint Eastwood?
Clint Eastwood makes your day, anal sex makes your (w)hole week.
LOVING the bear circumcision.
Posted by: Hairy Farmer Family | February 24, 2012 at 06:43 PM