January: I was sick, my health insurance clusterfuck occurred, and basically Anthem took five years off my life.
February: I'm sick-ish. Middle child falls ill, I blow a crucial deadline at my former job to be with him at the hospital, and I find myself unemployed (fuuuuuck). Also, I talk to CATHERINE! on the phone for the first time and decide she's dumb but harmless. I apply for lots of jobs. The MFA Flock begins to grow.
March: I am still having asthma issues left over from the early spring's illnesses, apply for and am rejected by lots MORE jobs, and start working for Temp Agencies 1 & 2, as well as a third agency that didn't last very long. I volunteer at the Hippie Food Coop lots. The MFA Flock grows by many more fuzzy little chicks, a handful of ducklings, and Paul the Rooster. I butcher my first chicken. Finances go downhill. A Twitter-troll rakes me over the coals and I flip them the bird. My front tooth explodes, but my dentist is able to piece it back together. God, March sucked!
April: I start working at Local Teaching Hospital a lot through one of the temp agencies, as well as several OTHER places, Hotter spends an evening in the ER, I garden a TON, CATHERINE! uses an ear candle on a kid with a badly infected ear and I have a conniption. The MFA Children stop having Away Weekends. We try and fail to hatch some eggs in an incubator. The tooth falls apart again and can't be repaired, I start working at The Botanical Garden, and I have a massive asthma attack that lands ME in the ER. April was not my friend either.
May: I continue to have asthma trouble, The Botanical Garden kicks my ass, Prednisone makes me a basket case, Hotter commits a sin of considerable magnitude...basically all of life turns on me brutally. Middle Child's "Mother's Tea" pulls me out of the dumps but things keep on sucking. MFA Mama goes offline for a while when I can't afford to pay my hosting fee, but then Typepad helps me out because they're awesome. I start working the third shift helping to renovate a Soulless Corporate Megalith store, which is a miserable job, and become nocturnal.
June: Middly gets Strep for the first of what would be MANY times (his pediatrician actually thinks he's a carrier now, which I try not to even think about because OMG), my lungs still suck, I continue to work at Soulless Corporate Megalith (and hate it) while also moonlighting for Temp Agencies 2 and 3 in my time off, and my back goes out on me. Hotter commits a grave transgression that causes me to seriously consider divorce. The MFA Minivan takes a major shit on me, costing us everything we have. Little Child transitions to oral intake but I am too superstitious to make a big deal over it.
July: We start to harvest stuff from the garden, which is nice. My lungs still suck, which is not nice. There's a horrific accident at Soulless Corporate Megalith, one in which someone could easily have been killed, and it freaks me out. Two chickens die within days of each other of natural causes. My tooth disintegrates further and I get my first migraine in over a year. I also get to drive a forklift, which was super-cool, and a co-worker threatens to cut me, which was not. In thinking about it I realize that some people are just fundamentally unhappy with their lives and need forgiveness, so I forgive said co-worker (and Stalky). Shortly after that, the Soulless Corporate Megalith job ends. I file for unemployment for the first time in my life.
August: There's an earthquake and a hurricane. Away Weekends resume. My lungs stop sucking so badly (finally). I am able through an act of incredible generosity to get my tooth fixed. Yay!
September: I find out I'm going blind, The Precious joins our family, I start a new temp job that I truly love, my ex wrecks CATHERINE's truck, I find out we have to get rid of most of the MFA Flock, I start running again, the XY announce that he and CATHERINE! are getting married.
October: I get cellulitis in my finger and have a GI bleed related to the antibiotics for that, the in-laws come to visit and my stepson gets on my nerves, our water heater dies, I get laid off AGAIN, I start working for PseudoCorp.
November: I develop a stress fracture that means no more running for a while, it turns out ALL of the poultry have to go, Hotter and I win tickets and backstage passes to a concert that demonstrates once and for all that we are Too Old For That Shit, Hotter is kind of a dick as he adjusts to my working at PseudoCorp, I go on a diet, we get notice that the Medicare "donut hole" will apply to Hotter in the new year and panic, the MFA Minivan dies and knocks us financially flat on our faces, I sink into a major depression but still manage to put together a nice Thanksgiving for our family.
December: I get super-sick, blogging is sparse, we find out Hotter will, in fact, qualify for Medicare "extra help," I fall while out walking at night and injure myself pretty badly, the minivan takes another shit on us, I have a small dental emergency, and all in all I am more than ready to kiss 2011 goodbye.
Y'know, I thought maybe I was being silly and melodramatic in hating so extravagantly on 2011, but in looking back over it? The year just plain sucked.
Hello, 2012. You sure are pretty! Let's be friends.
Not to be gossipy or anything, but I'm pretty sure 2011 had it out for you.
Posted by: Dead Cow Girl | January 1, 2012 at 12:21 PM
Wishing you all good things in 2012. You deserve it!
Posted by: Editdebs | January 1, 2012 at 02:10 PM
My comments elsewhere today are ltd to "Happy New Year!" because I can barely manage to hit the control c/v keys at the same time, but for you... holy hell, may 2011 rot and 2012 bloom like a flower on its grave. (ignoring the obvious turd blossom reference here)
Posted by: krlr | January 1, 2012 at 04:25 PM
I'm afraid to do a retrospective like you because I was being all positive and "lots of downs but lots of ups too!" but I don't want to be proven horribly, horribly wrong. 2011 was pretty awful for most of the people I talk with, but you may be taking the cake here. It's not a good cake, is it?
2012 looks like it has lost weight, doesn't it? And I love what it's done with it's hair!
Posted by: AlexMac | January 1, 2012 at 04:50 PM
Jeeeebus. 2011 sucked kinda HARD for you. I mean, all that in ONE YEAR? Unreasonable assholish behaviour, 2011. We are so not mourning your passing.
2012 had better play nice. Or I am coming after it with a grapefruit spoon.
Posted by: May | January 1, 2012 at 08:27 PM
2011 was your archnemesis. Hoping for a wonderful 2012 for you!
Posted by: Attorney At Large | January 1, 2012 at 08:37 PM
2011 was a hard year, I am making major changes in 2012, and I hope it is a better year for us all. Some times I WISH I blogged annon so I could talk about some of the hard things, but lets just say, uggg.
Posted by: Jackie @JackieSTaylor | January 1, 2012 at 10:28 PM
Wow and I thought my year sucked!
Posted by: winecat | January 2, 2012 at 05:49 PM