* Yes, I've decided that that is why I fall back on bullets when I want to post but am having trouble finding the words I want to use. Sometimes it's because I'm more aware than usual of unfriendly eyeballs reading (if you're not the known sociopath I refer to as Stalky then that is at least 95% NOT about you so RELAX, non-threatening unfriendly people of Earth!), sometimes it's because I'm trying not to wallow in the negative, sometimes it's because I have a wretched headache...and sometimes it's all of the above.
* Today it's all of the above. I had a dream last night about CATHERINE! reading my blog, money woes are worse than usual lately, and I had to instruct Hotter this morning to shove my nightguard in my mouth afterward if he's going to sex me into a coma in the future (heh).
* Am I worried about CATHERINE! reading my blog? Not really. I don't want to hurt her feelings, because she seems like a nice person (although I am still aggravated with her when I think about that damn ear candle...be that as it may if medical ignorance is someone's worst sin they're doing aight in my book so if she's reading this I hope she doesn't take that personally) (note that I didn't say "medical ignorance and poor taste in men:" while the XY would be an extraordinarily poor informed choice in a man, he is positively gifted at making himself out to be the lovably bumbling victim of a series of unfortunate events rather than the damnably lucky bastard who only ever pays for 5% of his--potentially at least partly unwitting given that his mother is a real disaster of a human being--crimes against humanity), and I would hope she'd have the levity to take my impression of her with a huuuuge grain of salt given that it is largely based on the second-hand impression three inherently unreliable sources I gave birth to have passed on in the information they occasionally volunteer about her. Any negative feelings I have toward her over anything OTHER than the ear candle (and her purported inability to enforce a civilized bedtime, although it's not really her fault my ex made of habit of dumping three children who aren't hers and who she probably really wants to like her on her until I put the kibosh on that) are largely not her fault. I hate the fact that the XY will potentially marry her and have access to her funds to make my life difficult in court, but ultimately if that comes to pass it'll eventually suck more for her (when it finally dawns on her that she's been had to the tune of thousands by a conman) than it will for me (I hate court and can't afford it, but I'm not genuinely concerned that the XY would stand a chance in hell of prevailing on matters of custody and that's what I care about most--money is just money and will always suck for me due to student loans, debts the XY ran up in my name, and the medical bills everyone I love is prone to). If anything I feel sorry for her, and maybe that in and of itself would piss her off, but it's the honest truth and no more or less than I'd tell her to her face if she asked me directly. I think if we got trapped in an elevator, independent of the XY's existence in both our lives, we'd probably emerge fast friends. I hope the XY really HAS changed since our divorce, mostly for my kids' sake but also for hers (although I'm extremely skeptical). The worst thing that might come of her reading my blog is the XY getting pissed at me for having it, which would be nothing new (he hated my blogging during our marriage) and not likely of any consequence to me, so no, I'm not worried about it. Maybe I should thank my subconscious for the subtle reminder to be kind, just in case?
* Money woes: GAH. Hotter is being sued by a hospital, which given that some of the plates are already wobbling menacingly on top of their sticks and I only have two arms, makes me feel positively ill. Life goes on.
* The headache, in case anyone was wondering, sucks but I can't say it wasn't worth it, so at least there's THAT :)
* How are all of YOU?