MFA Mama

today was a better day: YAY!

*   My tooth is fixed (my wonderful dentist said to just pay when I can), no root canal needed, and while I am still getting that migraine-aura earache here and there, it's fading. WHOO TITS!

*   Today I got some potentially very-good news at work. I can't really say what without getting into a long, involved, and potentially identifying story, but it gives me some hope of possibly being hired on full-time in the new year. This is particularly good in light of my stupid health insurance premium going up by sixty bucks per a letter I got in the mail yesterday (*grumble*).

*   Today I got a call from our Mennonite butcher friend; a hunter donated a deer to the MFAmily (we still had to pay the processing fee, which this being a smallish deer worked out to something like $2.63/lb. for the meat, but we love venison and it's organic and very lean, which means that Hotter can eat it, too) (he can't really eat beef at all because it has a super-negative effect on his GI motility). I got to leave work early because there was NOBODY there, which gave me time to pick up the meat. We had Sloppy Does for dinner and they were delicious!

*   Since I was already all the way out in East Jesus (is that just something my family used to say? It means kind of the same thing as "BFE"), I also picked up some Mennonite-made fruit jellies they sell out there. The black raspberry is particularly delicious!

*   I asked the butcher whether he had any bones for the dogs, and he said "if you wanna go through the barrels out back you're welcome to take as much as you want, but I don't think you wanna do that." They were unwilling to part with a garbage bag (the local Mennonites here are super-cheap; I'd feel bad making that kind of a generalization except that the pastor of their church, who is a friend, was the first person to tell me so and he's TOTALLY right) (and it's understandable I guess, because probably if they gave up a garbage bag to everyone who asked for one for dog bones it'd add up), but I had a paper grocery bag and a soda crate in the MFA Minivan, so I pinned up my hair, tucked my scarf out of the way, and pulled a bagful of very meaty bones out of the heap (they were very fresh and odorless; really not that gross although ten years ago I wouldn't even touch raw beef or poultry) (I guess I've changed a lot since I now butcher poultry bare-handed and, evidently, go through slaughterhouse scrap barrels without a second thought) then used the soda-crate to keep them off the carpet inside the MFA Minivan. The dogs are in HEAVEN!

Figure One: I think Isis looks kinda dangerous in this picture! Really that's just the face she makes when Hotter goes "I'm gonna TAKE YOUR BONE!" right as I snap her picture. A split second later she snatched it up and ran, just in case :) Bumpus's picture is pixelated and grainy because I had to enlarge it--he wouldn't let me anywhere near his bone, haha.

*   How are all of YOU?

2011 is fired

*   This morning my tooth what lost the filling started to ache rather menacingly (my dentist's office has been closed since it happened, although I was worried enough to page him this morning) (he called back within five minutes and was actually going to meet me at the office to have a look until I mentioned that I was already on a strong antibiotic, at which point he said since the office is reopening tomorrow he'd just phone in some Vicodin and see me then--I wish all of the MDs we deal with were as accessible, compassionate, and all-around fabulous as my dentist).

*   There was An Incident at work that led to my having to move my lunch hour around in order to talk to the legal department (I am not in any danger or trouble and it is nothing to do with Stalky, I just happened to be the lucky person who fielded a bizarre and slightly disturbing phone call).

*   THEN just as I left work the MFA Minivan took a (noisy, terrifying) shit on me to the tune of my entire paycheck for this week (serpentine belts and their associated tensioners are Of The Devil, as their name implies). Which wouldn't be such a big deal except that probably my dentist will want to be paid for his work tomorrow and I don't think I can wait on getting the filling replaced without ending up needing a root canal.

*   My leg was KILLING me today (past tense due to the Vicodin), and even if I WOULD feel like an asshole going to a doctor now I wish I could afford to just to make SURE I'm not ignoring something that'll cause lasting damage.

*   Aaaaand finally, when I got home from work and the mechanic and the pharmacy Hotter got his bitchface on because I took a Vicodin and he'd wanted me to go to the store for something first (he has since apologized). And I? Was so pissed off and achy and utterly defeated by today that I cried. I hate crying.

the one where I feel like an asshole

   So remember how I fell down and went boom a couple of weeks ago? Maybe you don't, since I didn't mention it really except on the Twitter and on here kind of in passing. I tripped while out walking at night, and fell hard onto my hands and knees on a sidewalk. My running gloves saved my palms, but my sweatpants didn't do much to protect my knees, and it sucked. There was so much blood and general swelling that I couldn't really tell what was what, but nothing was going numb and the pain wasn't unbearable so I just kind of ignored it at the time. A few days afterward I lightly brushed the left knee against the doorframe of the minivan while loading children and felt like I'd been smashed in the leg with a sledgehammer, and it swelled impressively, but...well. I mean, it sucked, but it wasn't THAT BAD.

   It occurs to me here that perhaps my sense of "that bad" is distorted by my terrifying medical history.

Figure One: 'S jus a flesh wound!

   Aaaanyway, so now, a couple of weeks later, the blood and most of the swelling is gone and the skin is starting to heal, but it occurs to me that perhaps I ought to have gone for an x-ray when it happened after all, because there is a large, hard lump on the left side, and when I absentmindedly went to kneel in the bathtub to inspect a slow drain I saw stars and almost threw up. It still doesn't hurt when I walk, so I don't think it needs a cast or pin or anything, but...

Figure Two: Sorry about the leg-hair, but really, if *you* can shave that you're a better man than I.

   So uh, yeah. Pretty sure I broke my effing leg. Question is, WILL it heal okay? I guess we'll find out, since I am flat-broke and x-rays come out of my deductible (plus honestly I'd feel like an asshole going to an orthopod all "so a couple of WEEKS ago..."). Ooof.

   Have any of y'all ever broken the tip-top of your tibia? Did it need any kind of medical intervention?

I'm not dead, just headachey and peevish

   Mercy, I didn't realize it'd been so long since I'd written! Sorry about that, I know y'all worry (and I love you for it). Since Bonnie poked me with the stick of Are-You-Deadness I thought I'd pop in and wave feebly.

   This holiday was not the best one, but it's OVER (the younger MFA Children, in a display of what I would ordinarily call poor upbringing except they're MINE and therefore I am stumped, spent much of Christmas morning talking about how much more generous Santa is at CATHERINE's house, how many more presents she gives them, how much fancier the wrapping is there and taller the tree and OMFG by the time The XY came to collect them an hour and a half late I was MORE than ready to see the back of them). I've also been poorly; dental woes tend to give me migraines and I've had a truly wretched one for the past couple of days, I suppose from the filling I lost (my dentist's office was closed today, although so was PseudoCorp so Hotter and I at least got to sleep late). At first I was afraid I was getting sicker, because my migraine aura consists mostly of horrible pain in my left ear, which is also the one that always gets infected, but no, it's "just" the migraine. Blehhh. On a positive note, while I wasn't thrilled to have to spend Christmas Eve at Urgent Care, the doctor I saw felt badly enough about the mistake that she comped me the second bottle of Levaquin, so at least that wasn't too expensive and I didn't miss a dose or anything (I don't like to take antibiotics, but if they're truly necessary then by Godiva I'm going to take the full course because resistant bugs are no fucking joke).

   Other than that, the final book of a series I've been reading since I was NINE came out, so uh, I'm kind of busy :) I hope all of you had a nice holiday.

grievances

*   Urgent Care only gave me five days' worth of levofloxacin for the sinus/ear clusterfuck, and five days is never enough. I usually need ten (although I've slid by before with seven; never with five though--literally, NEVER). At the time I was too sick to notice and now that I've left the office I'm afraid it's not going to be easy getting the additional two to five days worth of medication. Plus I run out tomorrow, and while I called today (and Urgent Care IS open tomorrow) I'm thinking they must be busy. Ballllls.

*   I think my sinus/ear crap has...I won't say gotten worse but "plateaued in improvement," perhaps? I dunno. Makes me even less inclined to try a five-day pharmaceutical Hail Mary.

*   Aaaand in case the potential of having to go BACK to Urgent Care on Xmas Eve and pay a co-payment I can't strictly afford for the privilege of sucking up a bunch of extra cooties and talking a frazzled doctor out of some more sweet, sweet antibiotics isn't expensive enough, I just lost a filling. HAHAHASHUTTHEFUCKUP. No, really.

too sick to be coherent

   Monday and I are not on speaking terms, as I'm freshly back from Patient First, where I went after work and they found that I have a sinus infection AND an ear infection, and my knees still hurt like hell* and I hate humanity, BUT! Hotter got word today that he qualifies for "extra help," and no prescription gap, and YAAAAY!

 

 

*   If you know me either on the Twitter or on the facespace, you know that I skinned the holy bejesus out of both knees a little over a week ago when I fell on a sidewalk while running and they looked horrible. They still do, the end.

autoparent

   I never want to bake anything EVER AGAIN.

   Gingerbread houses didn't get made yesterday, because people's behavior did not MERIT gingerbread houses, which meant that they HAD to get done today. When I woke at 6 a.m. unable to breathe and then had to boil and cool water for my neti pot (stupid amoebas ruin everything!), which left me Awake For The Day, I would have paid good money to not have to make effing gingerbread houses. I took some decongestants, and drank some caffeine, and crawled back into bed to let it all kick in while the children ran roughshod over Hotter. He was trying desperately to get everyone medicated for minimal assholery (the mentally ill dog tranqed, the older boys pilled) and keep them quiet, but it sounded like a losing battle. Hotter's shushings and the boys' shrieks were like yodelers on opposite mountaintops out there, interspersed with the pre-tranq morning stylings of a whining Bumpus-hound.

   Finally, I heard Hotter reach the end of his rope with the human miscreants. "THAT IS IT. I AM GOING TO EAT EVERY LAST PIECE OF CANDY IN THIS HOUSE SO THAT THERE IS NOTHING LEFT FOR ANYBODY'S GINGERBREAD HOUSE! I have told you and told you to be quiet so your mother can rest, and you don't listen--" and at that point Middle Child's little voice cut in on him.

   "And you're tired of it!"

   After a minute I heard Hotter gasp "yes, Middly, I am," through his laughter.

   "Do you hear dat? TIRED OF IT!" Middly thundered, presumably addressing the other two.

   I guess this means Hotter is obsolete?

BAKE. ALL. THE THINGS!

   Dang it, people, I really REALLY wish I could show you pictures of The Bakening, 2011 (now in progress). REALLY. But some of the recipients of Type II Diabetes cookiemail read this here website.

   This is why you don't mix blog-world and real-life, people. Well, that and what happened in the hot tub of the Rich Fancy Trophy Wife house where I used to live by the light of a menorah one time in like, 2007 (neither my ex-husband nor Hotter was involved).

   Aaaaanyway, back to tie-dying my hands with gel-based food coloring crafting homemade gifts for those I hold dear while channeling Lil Jon humming holiday songs.

bullets of goodness

*   No, PseudoCorp hasn't hired me. DANG IT. But today I volunteered to learn a new job-specific skill that hopefully increases my value to the company. I asked fully expecting to get shot down, because it's a Very Important Duty, but didn't. WIN! I will ingratiate myself to them until they make me an offer, SO HELP ME GODIVA.

*   Oh, right. TOWDM is on vacation for a while. A good long stretch free of One Who Dislikes Me-ness! Not that she's ugly to me, really, anymore. She's as pleasant to me as she is to anyone since I made my peace offering, but she "doesn't like to converse" and it's weird when we work side-by-side for eight hours with ZERO SMALLTALK. I don't even try anymore, since it pisses her off. The day before she left for vacation, though, PseudoCorp had VIP visitors and The One Who Dislikes Me was wretched enough to those of us below her station in general that I don't think anyone will miss her; there's a much different feel to my job without her around. More people stopping at my desk to chat, more friendly banter, etc. It's nice.

*   PseudoCorp = corporate FEEDER. Holiday lunch. Holiday dinner for lunch in the cafeteria. Free gourmet boxed lunch from place that has been featured on Food Network. Cookies from vendors. Cookies (OMG TRANSCENDENTLY FABULOUS COOKIES) from The Boss (who, I have since found out, used to be a professional pastry chef). Box of chocolates from my department. Holy wow. I've still continued to lose weight overall, however, as the ticker reflects.

*   The power company let us get back on budget billing. As you may recall, they booted us off for no apparent reason, and I'd been worrying about the upcoming very-cold months (Casa MFA has electric heat) resulting in monster bills despite our efforts to be energy-conscious, because that's just how it is when the furnace has to run around the clock to maintain a remotely livable temperature for weeks at a time. We'll still have the monster bills, but we'll pay a fixed amount that is doable. YAY! I have also ordered some window insulation film kits to install next week, and am eager to see what kind of results we get from those.

*   The holiday shopping is ALL DONE and the stuff has ALL ARRIVED. This is huge, because I wasn't sure if I'd even be able to GET holiday gifts this year (I only bought stuff for the kids, really, as Hotter asked if he could subscribe to something for recreation purposes as his gift...I was kind of pissed because I'd picked out something for him and gotten excited about the idea, but he's a big boy and can pick his own gift if he wants to and this way I know he's happy with what he got, but I think they will be happy). I actually got everyone really NICE gifts, even, in part by starting months ahead and doing my bargain-hunter thing and in part thanks to readers Becca and Devivo and the ever-fabulous Dr. Anon, the self-appointed elves who helped me take care of the final touches after things went to hell. I still need to wrap everything, but Hotter and I are practically giddy in anticipation of watching the MFA Children's reactions to their loot.

*   I'm not working AT ALL this weekend, nor am I taking on any work if any of the temp agencies call me. Instead, I am doing some house-stuff, grooming, bathing, and preventative-caring both dogs, and baking panels to build gingerbread houses with my family. WHOO TITS! 

*  Big Child's results from the county's Gifted Testing came in today's mail, and he is officially gifted in the areas of English and Social Studies. This is good news in that he is eligible to participate in enrichment activities and opportunities that I can't afford to expose him to, on the school system's dime, and I think he's going to love it. It's BAD news in that he was already kind of insufferable. HEE!

*   I think I'm finally on the way down the other side of the misery mountain, and apologize for the recent sparse posting. Tell me how all of YOU are doing!

2nd.MD: The doctor is in! (a sponsored review)

Thank you to 2nd.MD for providing me with a $200 stipend to test-drive this revolutionary online medical service.

   When I saw that Clever Girls Collective had a sponsored post opportunity that involved trying out a  revolutionary new way to get in touch with a top specialist from home, I was really excited, for obvious reasons. I mean hello, every single person in my household has complex medical issues necessitating entire TEAMS of specialists, who aren't always all that available for questions that aren't life-or-death. When I found out I was selected for this opportunity I thought long and hard about which specialty to consult with. I don't think there's any specialty we HAVEN'T had dealings with, after all, so I was a little bewildered in the face of SO. MANY. OPTIONS. And the combination of medicine and social media was RIGHT UP MY ALLEY, OH MAH GAH.

   I finally decided to narrow it down by ruling out specialties we were already happy with (like I hate the eye doctor LIKE POISON, but that said mine is one of the best in the nation so I don't really need a second opinion there), ones with a heavy hands-on clinical aspect (for example, to effectively address specifics of the connective tissue disease my children and I all have, a geneticist would want to move our joints around, feel our skin, have us do various physical things not easily captured on webcam...), and specialties where prescriptions are heavily involved (for example, I need to get back on ADD meds but while a psychiatrist-inside-the-computer might be able to make recommendations for specific drugs, they obviously can't prescribe that way and I don't know how well it would go over if I went to see MY psychiatrist and told him I wanted to try X controlled substance because Dr. Y from-the-innernet told me I should...).

   I finally decided I wanted to go with a sports medicine doc; many of the sports medicine specialists on 2nd.MD have SUPER-impressive credentials and I'm not realistically going to shell out a co-payment and day off to see one on my own. Plus the reason I wanted to see one (namely to get some tips on exercises, specific taping techniques/compression garments, etc. that might help me avoid the recurrent injuries I am so prone to when I run) was something I felt could be effectively addressed in a videoconference. Yay!

   My enthusiasm started to fizzle around the time the second specialist declined to take me on. I get why they have this option; obviously not everyone is very medically savvy and some people might select specialties that are wildly inappropriate or doctors within a specialty who don't often handle their particular issue, but...any able-bodied person can run and women in particular are prone to stress fractures. I didn't feel like mine was such a crazy concern. Finally I found a doctor who was willing to talk to me: WHOO!

   Unfortunately he didn't show up for our "appointment." Booo...here is where I have to say that 2nd.MD's customer service is AMAZING. If a doctor doesn't show up for your appointment (which given that doctors have, um, emergencies and stuff, isn't such a far-fetched idea) you automatically get a refund from 2nd.MD, but what the fine print doesn't say is that when that happens they go ABOVE AND BEYOND to make sure you don't give up on the service itself. The rep's exact words when I contacted him, frantic, at COB on a Friday when my post was due no later than TODAY, were "you go and have a good weekend and let me work some magic." 

   I won't lie. Initially I was not impressed with the magic. Because it took the form of a rush-appointment with...drumroll...a rheumatologist. Yeah, 2nd.MD's sports docs unanimously wanted nothing to do with me because of the rare and freaky connective tissue thing, and I was...pretty offended, honestly. Because what the heck was a rheumatologist going to know about this (I mean yeah, technically I have an autoimmune disease that falls under their specialty AS WELL, but it has no impact on my running and all symptoms that have majorly impacted my life have been effectively addressed through drugs and surgery)?

   At this point, I think if I'd been a regular paying customer I might've given up on 2nd.MD. Since I wasn't actually paying for the service out of my own pocket, though (and uh, wanted the income from this sponsored post opportunity), I decided I had nothing to lose by going into my appointment with Dr. Kirkwood Johnston with an open mind.

   Y'all, I am so glad I did that.

   Dr. Johnston isn't just a rheumatologist, he's also an avid runner and something of a rare disease afficionado. Instead of one of the two usual reactions medical professionals tend to have when I tell them about my specific connective tissue disease (either "umm...how do you spell that? I've never heard of it!" or "HOLY CRAP YOU POOR THING, YOU SHOULD TALK TO A GENETICIST OR PRETTY MUCH ANYONE WHO ISN'T ME!"), Dr. Johnston said "tell me about your [insert condition name here; it's rare enough to be potentially identifying so I'm not putting it up on my personal blog], what subtype is it and how severely affected are you?" He went on to explain, laughing, after I told him how the sports docs had all shied away from seeing me, that a lot of the time people's reaction to rare stuff that can impact mobility is one of "CALL A RHEUMATOLOGIST!" and this was actually right up his alley.

   I'd love to show you a screenshot of my consultation with Dr. Johnston, but apparently Awesome Screenshot and the 2nd.MD chat interface don't play well together because when I took one I ended up with this:

Figure One: Not-so-awesome screen shot. 

   So you'll kind of have to use your imaginations a little. Here is what Dr. Johnston looks like. And here is what I looked like during our consultation, modeling my anti-asthma attack running mask for running in cold weather (taken with my iPhone during the actual consultation, which you can sort of see in the reflection off my glasses) (last time I EVER don't shell out for the anti-glare coating on lenses, incidentally):

Figure Two: You didn't really think I'd out myself for this post, did you? Also? Funny story: I thought Dr. Johnston would be in on the whole "you are talking to a blogger who is being paid to review your services" angle, because COME ON, but apparently he was NOT in on the joke and when I said, apropos nothing, that I blogged anonymously and whipped out the mask in the middle of a chat about joint and muscle health I think the poor guy thought he was about to become an unwitting participant in some kind of fetish porn. But he was a good sport about it!

   So, my actual, honest-to-goodness opinion is that this is an amazing service. I got some truly excellent advice on how to minimize the risk of further injury (although Dr. Johnston was careful to stress that this would only REDUCE the risk, because "as you know you're going to hurt yourself a lot no matter WHAT you do," which shows he knows the condition I have pretty well, actually), from an unexpected source, and aside from the technology failing me when it came to the screen shot (AHEM, AWESOME SCREENSHOT) I have no complaints at all despite the false start. I was actually really impressed, not least in that after I caused a super-awkward moment by whipping out that mask it was SUPER-easy to exit the appointment with the remaining shreds of my dignity. Because it's easy to trip over your own feet on the way out a physical door (um, not that *I* ever did that while beating a hasty retreat from a horrified medical professional, hoooo no), but even I can't manage to hurt myself clicking the x at the top right of a screen.

Thank you again to 2nd.MD for sponsoring this blog post. Please click here to learn more about 2nd.MD. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions are my own. #Clever2ndMD #spon