Today I went by my OB/GYN's office for a checkup. I saw the nurse practitioner, because I actually prefer them as clinicians if I'm going in for a yearly exam or a non-surgical problem (my OB/GYN herself is impossible to get in to see anymore if you're not pregnant or in need of surgery anyway). She came into the room, noted that it'd been a while since they'd seen me in the office (I uh, hadn't been back to the girly-doctor since the hysterectomy/tumor removal extravaganza of '09) (don't look at me like that; I was tested for everything under the sun JUST IN CASE after leaving the XY '08 and have only slept with Hotter since then), and then, pointing to my wedding ring, said "I guess I don't need to ask you about any new sexual partners!" (which in my case she didn't but I have enough polyamorous friends and friends who are married but "play well with others" that I don't think she should necessarily make that assumption...). "We can still test you for STDs though, if you're worried that he might've..." (again with the assumptions: who says it's always the man who cheats in a monogamous relationship? I've never cheated on anyone, but plenty of women do). I cut her off and said "no, no...even if I thought him capable of such a thing* he's got donor organs so The Clap would prolly kill him; it's one of my favorite things about him, actually!"
She about died, y'all. First she blinked in shock, then she said "oh..." and then she got the giggles and about died of them. "It...probably would...haaaa..." she gasped, before finally composing herself. I guess they don't get that one a lot. Heh.
* No, Hotter is not incapable PHYSICALLY of the sex act, but in addition to just not being the cheating type he can't DRIVE and we don't have public transportation in our neighborhood, so if I'm not home I know he's where I left him. And our neighbors are all retirees and/or very unattractive. Plus he usually has the kids. So. Yeah.