So I was talking to Mer on the gchat about the culture of illness on social media, and paused to explain the "spoonies" hashtag on the Twitter to Hotter, who then made the "this is why I hate social media" face at me and I was like "this is why he isn't on the Twitter all my donor organ are [minority] bitchez" posting pictures of his taint so be THANKFUL and closed the window o'Mer** and suddenly we were in the twilight zone talking about what his brother and his brother's best friend and his brother's girlfriend did one time Back In The Day and he was all "well blah blah Playboy says never have a threesome with your wife and another GIRL or you'll just end up watching" and I was all "haha yeah and you'd be fine with that" and he was all "are you kidding, fuck yeah?" *fapping motions* and I was like "that's what you SAY, because you're a man" and then there was the sound of crickets and:
Him: I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T A SLUT.
Me: I wasn't. Technically.
Him: Whoahhhwhat's technically mean? NOT counting girls?
Me: Everyone, counting girls, could fit in the MFA Minivan and have a seatbelt to wear. Safety first!
Him: Right, that's what you always do say, but...?
Me: You can keep it down to seven individually quite normal bodies OR mix and match, uh, seating rows. Move the bench up, or...
Me: OR SO I HAVE HEARD FROM PEOPLE I KNOW ONLINE WHO ARE NASTY. I MEAN, INNERNET PEOPLE, Y'KNOW? HAHAHA.
Him: Yeah, well that's what I was saying about my brother. Not, you know...
Me: You've sucked dick before. How are you calling him--
Him: I WAS NEVER A FLAMER, OKAY???
That was a first! We both sulked for like, five minutes until one of the dogs woofed in their sleep and we both cracked up laughing.
* See, I am totally fulfilling my last New Year's Resolution and talking about the sex on the social media. Aren't you proud?
** Which as this immediately preceeded my morning jumping the shark I am taking as a sign that closing the window o'Mer was a dumb idea. Learn from my mistake, people.