I'm all bunched up, y'all.
Part of the reason the XY and I are at odds is that he's been taking the boys to spend the night at his girlfriend's house on his weekends (excepting this last weekend, during which they evidently went home late at night and came back early in the morning for breakfast...sigh) and they LUFF her.
Yes, it's better that they love her than hate her. No, I would not prefer that she lock them in the basement and feed them bread and water. But does it sting that my kids got a stepfather they'd met TWICE due to the XY's writing it into our final decree that there be "no unrelated male overnight guests, or unrelated female overnight guests if they are of romantic interest to WIFE" and he's now easing them into his new love interest by having her bake with them and squirt whipped cream in their mouths on his weekends? You bet your arse it does! Does it aggravate me that they come home with baked goods from CATHERINE*, singing their praises? Yes, especially since personally I think her pie is nothing to write home about.
They said she makes better pumpkin pie than I do, y'all.
But my catty thoughts on that and pride in my baking prowess aside, there's more. This weekend? He brought them home early (he claims to be getting sick, probably he's just Getting Some, but whatever, I want them home Sunday nights anyway because they'll go to school on time, having had a good breakfast, and wearing clothes they haven't been wearing all weekend) with girlfriend apple pie AND homewrecker brownies.
From Jan**. Jan the woman he moved in with while I still loved him and our infant was in the hospital fighting for his life and we were still (allegedly) a family five years ago this very week. This is not okay. Not just because they're obviously box-brownies, but because if he's taking brownies from Jan, then he can't be that serious about CATHERINE***, and in that case why are my children getting attached to her? I was already worried since a couple of weeks ago they were apparently fighting and the kids saw her crying...they do not need to watch him destroy another woman.
So I'm sitting here with a girlfriend apple pie in the fridge and a plate of homewrecker brownies on my dining room table, worrying. "Think of it this way, Jan did you a favor! She stole a shitty man and baked you brownies. YOU WIN," Tara counseled me via facespace chat. "I'm overthinking the brownies, aren't I?" "You're overthinking the brownies."
Poor Jan, she's probably trying to win him back with her box brownies and has no idea they'd end up on his ex-wife's table, the target of innernet mockery.
Poor CATHERINE, I wish I could meet her, follow her into the ladies' room, and tell her that if he hits her I'll testify. I wonder if she knows about the brownies?
Poor boys. I wish I could see this somehow not ending up as a(nother) mindfuck for them.
And while I'm at it, poor me. I know I need to get down off my cross, use the wood to build a bridge, and get over this, but the pumpkin pie thing? Really stung (also I woke up with a brand-spanking new pinched nerve in my neck, and there's a virus moving through Casa MFA, and I swear those stupid effing processed box-mix brownies are taunting me and reportedly CATHERINE is skinnier than I am, too).
How are YOU?
* Lord no, that's not her real name.
** Not her real name either.
*** I have no idea why it's CATHERINE, in all caps, but it is. Tara urged me to do all-lowercase, like e.e. cummings, but she's CATHERINE, all-caps. My children say her name that way and CATHERINE she is.