So I just went on a job interview. Spoiler alert: I will not be working at this place. First of all, it's a sports bar. I thought I could be cool with that, but no. I walked in and looked around and immediately felt all itchy. Strike one. Then the "manager" came to "interview" me. She had a tattoo of a pentagram on her middle finger. Strike two*. "You...went to...college?" I'm used to having the WTF Higher Education conversation with potential employers. They generally want to know why I want to be a waitress or bartender if I have a terminal degree. If they're educated themselves, they get that degrees (or at least, liberal arts degrees) do not unlock these magic doors that blast money at you any time you choose to open them, but this girl...not so much. She looked like she maybe had gotten a GED on her second or third try**. She explained that working the shifts I had indicated I was available, I would most likely earn $30-$50 per (six-hour) shift (STRIKE THREE YER OUTTA HERE!), and asked me if I was interested.
Figure One: This was me. I NOPE'd all the way to Trader Joe's, bought some wine and some organic kale for a baking project I intend to complete with the kids tomorrow on my day off, and went home. Tonight I work at The Ritzier, where I suspect I will be MUCH more content than I was before today's interview showed me what else was out there.
* I have no problem with tattoos. I have tattoos. However, generic, ill thought-out tattoos in places that cannot be covered? NOPE.
** I have no problem with GEDs. I have a GED. It was the most expedient way to skip high school and get started on my college education, which was what I had to do to avoid being homeless given that dorms are the only safe place a minor can live without either being emancipated or having a family/sugardaddy. When The Narcissist went buckass crazy and threw me out of the house at fifteen I decided I didn't want a sugardaddy, so I went to college. By the time I was seventeen The Narcissist decided I wasn't suffering adequately from being thrown out and ordered me to drop out and come home so that she could torture me, so I briefly acquired a lawyer sugardaddy in order to get legally emancipated. AH, MEMORIES! Anyway, having taken the GED I can honestly say that if it takes you more than one try to pass the thing and you weren't super-sick at the time or something, you should go ahead and have yourself sterilized. GED = SUPER EASY.